Chrispy. A person.

17th July 2014

Post

Signed, the Management

It’s very hard to not be angry. A news lede I read today in which four boys were killed by a missile hitting the beach they were playing on described the incident as if they sought it out. As if they weren’t fucking murdered. Like they just happened to drive on by, seeking out their deaths.

"This beach looks like a great place for a military-grade warhead to kill some civilians," one of the boys must have said.

"Especially if it was us," another must have assuredly replied.

There’s a lot of violence and death for a lot of reasons, and I can’t lay here and pretend to know them all. I’ll guess I could rattle off more then most; that is no comfort. I feel blessed the days I forget about Eric and Dylan come April 20th while Twitter makes awful weed and Hitler jokes. I wonder if I should. But then I think about Pol Pot, and Breitbart, and Rastafarianism. I see bad people and dumb people and those things don’t mix. I wonder a lot of things about them.

Why do groups continually hate other groups for ancient and of-no-current-issue reasons? The American South still hate us “Yankees” and the Scots aren’t yet free from the British, despite the past history being glossed over and told in half-truth via story teller’s embellishment? I can’t think of anything stupider than fighting over your arbitrary border. I’m sure, somewhere, there is a Sumerian descendent that hates the Mongol horde, and does not fully understand why.

Then again, people think they learn history from Epic Rap Battles of History. I should not be surprised.

Did you know that once someone thinks they’re happy, they’ll forget all about you and what matters to you? Did you know that your life of consumeristic farce-ridden bile is a poison to your life (I’m sure you’ll look back on tour deathbed and say that the amount of things you bought Grumpy Cat related were good fucking ideas)? Did you know that no company has or ever will care for your humanity aside from your ability to make it money? Did you know that “the market”, while man-made, is bowed in front of by legions of rich white men who follow its oracle to gather their calculated riches, like human vultures who pick the eyelid skin from the carcass of their market bubble?

Have you ever realized that sex isn’t going to make you feel less alone? Have you realized that (while your body’s freedom is your own and no judgment befall you) it won’t replace those special people you really did just throw away?

Have you ever asked yourself, “Does my mother love me because I’m hers, or because of the person that I am?” You should. Because as Buzzfeed likes to yammer in its half-baked, and ignobly so uncredited and stolen gif-file cookie dough, The Answer Will Shock You.

Haven’t you ever even thought about why you react to people the way you do? Have you ever said “that’s just not what you do” and questioned it? Have you even stepped outside of your shitsoapbox to wonder if what you’re thinking is off base?

Of course you haven’t. That’d require something you lack: a fucking spine.

Smarten the fuck up. Maybe read once in a fucking while instead of worrying about what Nikes are coming out this year, or what dark hole that the next YouTube sensation will breach out of much like a hagfish. Maybe being entertained every fucking day is ruining your goddamn head. Maybe you should have cared enough to realize that you’re not so unique and great and that things won’t be okay. Things will never be okay. Things will never be okay. Because you’re still alive, there, with your coffee in your hand pretending to know things about sewing and movies at this café. And you’ll never be more alone than every night when you head home and see what you did today, on that blank wall across from your bed. That unpainted, blank wall, where you were going to put all your memories and pictures from your years on your own with what you thought made you happy.

You’ll never be happy. But you’re also so gifted at being an imbecile that you’ll never even fucking notice. Then you have the gall, the nerve, to suggest how to fix the world. That’s your problem - you should be trying to break it. You should be molding up a piece of yourself and throwing it at that wall until you finally stick.

Then I can be less angry. At least you tried.

9th July 2014

Audio post reblogged from J33zu$ with 238,564 notes - Played 1,355,939 times

alfonsopoopoofatty3rd:

royai-sexual:

ursorum:

tylersthings:

Forgive me padre for I have siiiiiiinned

I can’t believe someone made a fucking audio post for that stupid deer picture I made. this is unbelievable. I’ve reached a new level of sentience. I am unstoppable. I am the alpha and the omega.

this is my favourite fucking picture on the internet and the fact that it has an accompanying audio post makes me wanna cry tears of joy.

elhombredeaccion
OH MY GOD.

Hahahahahahahaha god

Source: tylersthings

1st July 2014

Photoset reblogged from bbrightstar with 48,281 notes

mtvother:

It was great seeing Michael Che kill it on last night’s Daily Show.

If you haven’t seen it, Che was in Inside Joke a while back and he was also awesome in it.

Source: youtu.be

13th June 2014

Photoset reblogged from im online with 401 notes

13th June 2014

Photo reblogged from 1 5 4 with 198 notes

Source: weirdinternet

13th June 2014

Photo reblogged from 1 5 4 with 40,997 notes

Source: memejacker

13th June 2014

Photo reblogged from 1 5 4 with 181 notes

Source: weirdinternet

11th June 2014

Photo reblogged from Sexy Tattooed Girls with 77 notes

oh my god

oh my god

11th June 2014

Photo reblogged from Sexy Tattooed Girls with 155 notes

*spits out chocolate milk* pppppppppffffffffftttttttttttttttt

*spits out chocolate milk* pppppppppffffffffftttttttttttttttt

29th May 2014

Photo reblogged from J33zu$ with 23,352 notes

alfonsopoopoofatty3rd:

versacefriedchicken:

50 Cents first pitch at today’s Mets game…

elhombredeaccion
there it is

No wonder the Mets can’t get the pennant

alfonsopoopoofatty3rd:

versacefriedchicken:

50 Cents first pitch at today’s Mets game…

elhombredeaccion
there it is

No wonder the Mets can’t get the pennant

Source: versacefriedchicken